Seeing the truth through the fog..

Lots of adjustment!! Lots of fear!! Lots of anxiety!!

Those are the things that have motivated my blog post today. I have 2 more days of work for Newfrontiers, and I've found a lot of emotion coming in with that reality. My role is changing, dramatically, and although I can feel attacked that my new role will not be as significant, God is encourage me that those thoughts are just rubbish! I have been so encouraged today by God's presence, his love and comfort he's so faithful to bring in times when we are at the end of a chapter, and scared of the next.

God has already spoken promises to me about my future as a mother, I just have to remember to hold on to that truth. Dave Holden spoke to our staff this morning about a difficult time in his life where he was unable to "join in" with meetings, conferences, etc.. What he did have, was lots of time to worship God. What a humbling thing to be removed for a season from the middle of practically advancing God's kingdom through the church, and to be reminded that we have "an audience of one"- as Dave put it. I guess in my case I'll have an audience of one and a half :-)

Looking forward every day to meeting my sweet baby girl. Dreaming about her almost every night now. Wont be long now.... For the time being, I'll keep waddling on. Here's a picture of me at 36 weeks and 1 day. I just woke up!

35 weeks.. hanging in there

Oh how I've abandoned you blogger! But, alas, the internet has just been set up in our new home and I couldn't/shouldn't be blogging from work so this is my first opportunity since the madness has slowed down to update.

We are now almost 35 weeks preggo, which seems incredibly surreal. Her room is mostly set up (pictures to come soon) and the house is feeling less like a institution of boxes and more of a home. If she were to decide to come a bit early I believe we are all ready. Physically at least, emotionally, who knows!

I have reached a new level of uncomfortable. Thank goodness for my pregnancy pillow, without it, I don't know where I'd be. :) Bending has become almost an impossible feat, but thank goodness for my husband. How some women make it through pregnancy without a helpful and loving man, I'll never know.

Last week I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. It has been a little bit less than fun to monitor my blood sugars and count my carbs, but I'll do what I can to make sure little mama is healthy.

I'll leave with some pictures of David and I with 33 week belly. Enjoy!

Getting a peek of your sweet face

2 weeks ago I had a follow-up ultrasound to measure the baby's heart, which turned out to be just fine. After the ultrasound, the tech could see I was pretty uncomfortable, and I had been waiting a while to get in, so after the 45 minutes of taking picture after picture, she said, "ok lets try to take some fun ones"- and turned the machine to 3D! I was a little freaked out at first to see her face in 3D, I've always been scared of 3D ultrasounds because they can sometimes look a little scary, but sure enough she found her face, and there she was, hand up to her little mouth. She had lots of hair, and long eyelashes (you can see in the picture)..It was hard to make out at first, but she looked so peaceful in there, which made me feel like a good mommy already because she is obviously very cozy inside of me! I'm attaching a picture of her sweet face at 27 weeks- can't wait to see it in person.

Just 5 days from moving now, and my first baby shower is this weekend. Lots to look forward to, and lots to do.. Aching back and hips are making that a little tricky, but it will all be very worth it in the end. So many different changes in my life right now, some very exciting, some scary, and some sad.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance."

-wonder if it's ok to weep while you dance? :)

A strong baby- 26 weeks

WOW- This little lady is getting strong! Lately I've felt as if a rib might pop out with her kicks. My stomach will sometimes distort now, its crazy to watch, and even crazier that she will (before we know it) be in my arms and not in my belly. So many moments to cherish. I thought I'd write down some of my symptoms at this stage so I can remember with my later pregnancies and compare.

Stuffy nose- all the time, and I've become a great fan of breathe-right strips, on a side note, it is incredibly sexy I'm sure for David for me to have them on my nose every night, but he's never said a word. good man.

Lots of heartburn- All hail Tums. A glass of milk seems to do wonders as well.

Swelling extremedies- wedding ring came off last week. And some days my toes look like sausages. Amie Fox and I had a great laugh last week looking at them.

Tooty Fruity- needs no explanation.

Hip and back pain- to the max. I happen to already have some problems with my bones due to my Crohn's disease, so carrying out front has not helped much. What has helped is having a Physical Therapist for a husband that gives me back rubs with the drop of a hat, and a new discovery, the exercise ball! Scares the poo out of poor Libby whenever I get it out, but sure does help my hips. Can't help but quote the office whenever I'm on it. hehe

David and I bought a house this week. We are under contract, so as long as inspections, appraisal, etc go smoothly, we should be all moved in by the end of the month! God kind of placed it in our path so that we would have to deliberately side-step it in choosing to pass it up, and some other things happened that made it sort of obvious that this was the right step for us to take. God has a funny way of doing things sometimes, just when we stop looking he puts something in our path and a peace in our hearts we can't deny. What an amazing God. And A LOT of change happening, including saying goodbye all too soon to my amazing friend Amie Fox. Thank goodness for facebook and skype, I can hold her close to my heart even as she moves on to what God has for her.

MEH! Time to go pack a few boxes, who knew I'd be moving when I am 30 weeks pregnant! Wahhh!

Attaching 26 week belly picture

22 weeks- growing like crazy

Ah, how fun. As I type baby girl is kicking me, she likes to kick these days and Daddy regularly feels her too. I am starting to feel more swollen/wobbly lately which is not painful or uncomfortable enough to be too annoying, it's still kinda funny. I'm sure that will change soon.

Here's a picture of me at 22 weeks at my parent's house.

The belly is half full

20 weeks down, hopefully only 20 more to go..

Everything has become incredibly real to me these past couple of weeks. Baby girl has gotten much stronger, and her kicks and rolls are easily felt now by me. Unfortunately, when daddy tries to feel she seems to stop moving suddenly. (I think he just calms her) which I can relate to, because he also calms me.

My sister, Christina, came in town this week and helped me to register at Target and Babies R Us, which was very helpful, and another aspect that made everything feel much more real. I am dreaming a lot about what life will be like when she's here, what to do with her room, how our lives will change, and what she will look like. I've also began to pray for her to know Jesus, as it is never too early to pray for a soul to be saved. Today, I was thinking about my previous pregnancy and the sweet little life that is now with Jesus. And realizing, without that terrible experience, the little one inside of me wouldn't be joining our family. Comforting to know that God works good through the effects of sin in this world. I guess he knows what he's doing after all. What an amazing God we serve!

20+ belly picture coming soon...beware, I am much bigger this week :)

17 weeks.

So I'm starting to learn a little about the nudger inside of me. She likes to dance after I drink orange juice, she always adjusts when I adjust, and I already know she has a beautiful soul. (No reason for the last one besides that a momma just knows!) We have named her this week, unfortunately for all of you, you'll have to wait until she enters this world to know her name.. but it is a lovely name that I think she'll fit quite perfectly. David and I are tickled about having a little girl, she already has 5 outfits, the cutest socks, and a pair of shoes and I haven't bought her a thing!

CRAZY DREAMS..
I keep dreaming that I have her, and then in the middle of the dream I realize that I haven't gone full term yet, and this must be a dream! So while still in the dream I decide to enjoy her while I have the time. Last night in my dream, she could understand everything I said, although I didn't tell anyone else that because I didn't want them to know that my baby was a genius. I'd whisper in her ear that if she let her auntie hold her for a while, that we'd get to read an extra book at bedtime and she'd silently agree.. Strange dreams for sure, I think I'm just so anxious to meet her!